Women Who Dare
Sometimes we feel compelled to begin something. The desire is clear and strong and it just seems so right. No matter what happens (or doesn't), we keep plugging away at it. That's how I feel about my work with midlife women. The yearning came from somewhere inside me, from a place of my deepest desires, my spirit if you will.
I was working in my fourth transition house for abused women in a small, ferry accessible community near Vancouver, BC when I decided to go back to school to study counseling. 
The next month I woke up one morning and said to myself, 'I'm going to write to Martha Beck today'.
I had a vision of a practice that would provide holistic services to women. I've undergone many transitions, taken many steps and traveled far from the day when that first pressing desire made itself known to me.
I applied and was accepted into a progressive program at a private University for adult learners. Every Saturday for over two years I arose at 5:30 am and took the 6:20am ferry to downtown Vancouver to study. I was at a time in my life when I needed a project, a passion. I was in the last part of perimenopause. Interestingly I became menopausal the month before my courses began.
Much of my focus was left-brain during my studies and later while I honed my skills doing addiction work at a large Vancouver non-profit agency. But as soon as I quit my 'day job' to begin private practice, something interesting happened. My creative juices immediately began to flow and I wrote my first client newsletter only five days after leaving the agency. I felt adrift and was not completely grounded in my business or in my life in the city. I was playing a waiting game.The next month I woke up one morning and said to myself, 'I'm going to write to Martha Beck today'. Martha is the creator of the amazing North Star Coaching program, and I'd always thought she'd be the one I studied coaching with. A few weeks later I was in Phoenix, having an intense, life-changing experience and learning the skills I use daily to help move myself and other women forward in life.
Developing my holistic practice has challenged me. I'm now on my fourth 'incarnation', as I'm fond of calling them. The first, early on, was a 'flash in the pan', and took the form of a simple brochure without even a logo and a very limited market distribution. I don't think I was ready for that one!
Still at my day job but cutting back, I partnered with a woman from work to open a joint practice. (Don't get me started on the perils of partnerships!). We dreamed and schemed for a year, purchased elegantly appointed cards and stationary and opened an office in Vancouver. Before our official opening, I knew something wasn't quite right. My partner and I weren't on the same page. I really wasn't sure what was going on with her when she showed up late for meetings, and once not at all. I'm sure she was just as confused by what she later termed my 'bulldozer approach'. So we collapsed the partnership. It was disturbing to both of us and I was left with a sense of bereftment.
I then soloed in a rental space at a Wellness Centre in North Vancouver very close to my home in a co-housing community. Many times I felt I was working in a vacuum with lots going out but not much coming in. Then I would summon the inspiration and find new energy to make something new happen and that would feed me.Business was sparse and internal referrals few and far between. Fortunately I had a contract that helped somewhat. Although I enjoyed my colleagues and clients, I didn't feel I was where I was meant to be. I felt adrift and was not completely grounded in my business or in my life in the city. I was playing a waiting game.
My partner and I made the decision to return to our home on the Sunshine Coast the following summer, earlier than we had planned. As much as we felt a part of our co-housing community in the city, the pull of our spiritual home was strong. We didn't want to continue our urban life. I began working with an intuitive public relations woman in preparation for the launch of my new woman-centered practice on the Coast.
The preceding years of school, employment and fledgling private practice were all preparation for my present work. I wasn't ready during my first three business incarnations and had not located my practice in a setting that fed me body, mind and spirit. How could my business thrive if I wasn't thriving?
Back on the Sunshine Coast I have roots; Each step I've taken has brought me closer to my vision. It has been scary at times - very scary.I know many people and am known by many. The Coast, just a short ferry ride from Vancouver, is truly another world. In this new phase of my business I have narrowed my focus to midlife women who are ready for change in their lives. Over the past year I have begun to take myself seriously as a business woman. My attitude has slowly changed and my business confidence grown.
Last fall I met Jill (yes, TimeFinders Jill), through her on-line magazine. I don't really believe that there are accidents in life when it comes to relationships. I began working with Jill on firming up my vision, completing my transition from counsellor to coach and re-tooling my website. I ordered an 800 number so women throughout North America could reach me easily. Jill has gently mentored me through this transition, giving me the benefit of her own business experience, as she has trod this road before me. She understands the enormous changes a person goes through in the first few years of becoming a self-employed business person.
Each step I've taken has brought me closer to my vision. It has been scary at times - very scary. While the initial stage of attracting clients is usually stressful, what challenged me enormously was making decisions that moved my business (and me) irrevocably forward. I was moving way out of my comfort zone and it was by turns terrifying and exhilarating. Many times I felt I was working in a vacuum with lots going out but not much coming in. Then I would summon the inspiration and find new energy to make something new happen and that would feed me. I'm coming into my own as a business woman, claiming my personal power and fully embracing my dream for my coaching practiceI kept myself moving and motivated, using the tools I'd learned from Martha in Phoenix, and welcomed the support of those who understood what I was experiencing - Jill, my coaching partner in Minnesota, other friends and my husband, who himself is developing a business.
These days I feel I'm coming into my own as a business woman, claiming my personal power and fully embracing my dream for my coaching practice. I've recently honored myself by replacing support staff who did not have my best interests at heart with ones who give me the professional support I need and deserve. I feel that all the hard work I've done, (both internal and external), over the last few years is beginning to reap rewards. I see the tangible results of this daily and I feel it in my bones.
Growing a business is definitely not for the faint of heart, but then deeply fulfilling things never are. It's all about our own process, our growth as human beings as well as entrepreneurs. If you have a vision - the germ of a passionate idea, (and we all do), I invite you to hold it close to your heart, nurture it and develop it into the life of your dreams. Be a Woman Who Dares!
This article was written for Jill Crossland's TimeFinders Coaching and her Women Who Dare series. Read more of Ellen's articles on the TimeFinders website!
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