My Process of Writing "The Caregiver in MidLife"

The writing process

For me the process of writing, particularly something of such a personal nature as "The Caregiver in MidLife: Where their needs end and yours begin", has not been an easy one, but it has been an imperative one for me. I always had the idea that when I got older, I would write for women. I had no idea what that would look like…how old was older? What type of writing would I do? But I suppose it has been a desire from within me ...something I visualized into my future reality and at this point in my life, (I'm 60 next month), it has come to the forefront.

It's odd, but I didn't realize until I was well into the book how personally qualified I was to write a book for midlife women caring for their aging parents. I knew I was professionally qualified and had well-formed ideas I wanted to share with others. But it took me a while to grasp that the journey I have been on over the past ten years with my mother has marked the natural stages of decline of an elderly woman with Alzheimer's Disease.

Each stage has involved me developing, on an as-need basis, management techniques to ensure that Mom received the right support. My mother's slow decline over such a long period of time has also meant an ongoing letting go and grieving on my part.

I feel I've been able to address, in a general way, many of the issues and concerns the midlife caregiver faces, regardless of her parent's particular health situation, and offer the benefit of my experience and information from my research. Also I've documented all the feelings that I've gone through over the past years.

Writing this book gave me an opportunity to share what I've learned with others, which was important to me. After all, that's why I'm in the field I'm in ... because I want to support and help other women. I realized as I went along that my writing was an emotional, psychological and spiritual catharsis for me.

I finished the book before I went away to Southeast Asia and that gave me time to complete my 'internal incubation period' while I was away. I now let it go and send it out to you, my readers, with my warm wishes and hopes that it will support and nurture you as you undertake or continue your journey as a midlife caregiver.

Warm wishes to all you midlife caregivers out there (all women really!)

Ellen Besso, Writer, Life Coach & MidLife Caregiver

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My Process of Writing "The Caregiver in MidLife"

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